Broadly smiling, engagingly confident, you motivate audiences.
Stories of family triumphs, business victories, successful negotiations.
The ability to mesmerize audiences is legendary.
Week after week you shared more and more of your life story.
Growing up in the leafy suburbs of north shore Chicago
Privilege, wealth, highly educated in private schools.
Behind the closed doors there was the specter of alcoholism, An enabling father who provided cover for your mother to drink. Jameson on the rocks in crystal tumblers began at noon each day.
All the while the legendary mercantile business prospers on Michigan Avenue.
High end jewelry: a travel service to Europe: leased airplanes at O’Hare.
All business and personal hurdles were brushed aside as you became the
revered CEO at Hartsfield, Inc. A major player in the design and sales of u
upscale women’s fashion. Your loyal employees shared in the profits, the fame, and the riches.
Presiding over meetings in the cavernous auditorium, you shared a bit of history.
And motivated employees with tips recommendations, and self help suggestions as to how to become bigger than life, how to see the goodness in their soul.
Slowly and deliberately over months and years you tell of your mother’s failing health. Her struggle with dementia.Not a word about the dreaded illness known as “ the drink”
This family history was in the past, a harsh memory, but one consigned to the closet.
So dear reader, want to be a charismatic leader? A role model for your employees?
Someone to whom the public gravitates towards and looks to for strength and inspiration?
A New York Yankee fan, our CEO subject, remembers her mother talking about Lou Gehrig.
The slugger who stood on the grounds that Ruth built and said goodbye on July 4, 1939.
Knowing that he was succumbing to the death of what is now known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.
An iconic hero, he is remembered for generations. Known as the Iron Horse for his durability, physically weak but staunchly resolute his courageous farewell speech before more than 61,000 follows.
“Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.
Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball’s greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy? Sure, I’m lucky.
When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift — that’s something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies — that’s something. When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter — that’s something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so that you can have an education and build your body — it’s a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed — that’s the finest I know.
So I close in saying that I might have been given a bad break, but I’ve got an awful lot to live for. Thank you.”
— Lou Gehrig at Yankee Stadium, July 4, 1939[49]
Imagine the strength it took to deliver this farewell address!
Like Lou Gehrig, others follow you – almost a cult. They come to you with their secrets, their stories of success and personal distress. After all, you are perceived to have an endless capacity for empathy, and heartfelt understanding: two characteristics of successful leaders.
They look to you as the perfect leader: One whose speeches and writings are internalized, discussed, chatted about in high society and by the Red Hat ladies.
Through it all, you have been able to keep a bit aloof while protecting yourself. Maintaining that necessary tiny bit of space between you and the public, you and employees,.
Vulnerability has been part of what you shared. That openness which others see as trust. That incalculable chemical molecule with which most identify.
Your son, yes you have discussed the travails of your son from time to time. His autism. His struggles with other children. How you strive to keep him comfortable and happy. But his decline – only a hint here and there.
There is a rumor that his health is rapidly deteriorating to the point of no return. That his continuing illness is causing a rift in your “perfect” marriage. But you have been stalwart, and strong, and just led the board of directors through the sterling financials for the last quarter. Profits are up 18%.
The Wall Street Journal sings your praises. Stockholders are in awe. To the world life is perfect.
So you want to be a charismatic leader? Leadership requires “ speaking to the truth as Neale Walsch writes in “ Conversations with God”.
Here they sit. Three Hundred Fifty expectant men and women. Eager for your quarterly message
of hope, inspiration, and life-sustaining theories. Knowing you have brought the firm through the recession. Knowing you will provide for them in many ways, large and small.
Be strong , you say to yourself. You got where you are through hubris, knowledge, and superior self
control. Strong on the outside: stronger on the inside.
You’ve spoken with Elizabeth Edwards. Hilary Clinton, Geraldine Ferraro. All who overcame the impossible – and retained their public integrity. Here you are – with an expectant audience.
Lou Gehrig walked away.. so weak he could not hold the goodbye gift presented by fans and teammates..
Where is my inner strength whispers the voice inside of your head.
The introductions are over: the crowd comes to their feet as one large wave. Cheering as you reach the
podium. Waiting for good news. Waiting for that magic they have seen in you for 15 years.
Deep breath: knees knocking: shoulders back: eyes focused on your loyal assistant in the front row- only she has seen the struggle behind the curtain and knows something is rotten in Denmark.
You thank the team for their loyalty: how they have made the Company great and then share Power
Point graphs illustrating the successful 1st quarter. You have stalled, procrastinated, bobbed and weaved. It is time to tell them. Alex, your son died last night, Timothy your husband left town on a
business trip – and was seen in West Palm Beach with another woman, and yes you have cervical cancer.
The imperfect tri fact a. A leave of absence- yes you are leaving for an indefinite period of time.
There is an audible gasp: Silence: Tears: employees reluctant to look at each other – so uncomfortable.
You have gone where many have failed. You stayed faithful to your implicit promise to employees which is to tell the truth .. always. To trust them .. and for them to trust you.
Leadership is about raising expectations. This includes the honesty of transparency and the risk of being vulnerable.
Hubris and knowledge catapulted you to the corner office. Do you have that something extra of transparency and vulnerability which sets you apart.? Leadership has its rewards and risks.
My question to all of you leaders – are you willing to walk the walk ? To share who you are, what you value, and embrace employees when they care about you and your life?
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