TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

We’re comfortably seated. Friends and neighbors close by.

Familiar sights of sun splashed windows: ushers extend a hand

to the regulars.

Musty smell of well worn cushions, the air conditioner is

blaring full force

Microphones are tested; lights blazing from the domed ceiling.

Ministers, priests, politicians and

sundry public relations types puff out their chests

to ascend the stage: get our attention: seek our allegiance/trust.

Many appear to deliver clever, useful, even value added

pronouncements for the public good.

Especially our own personal self good.

Well spoken, articulate, logical, they are smooth,

glib, folksy, with value systems apparently akin to our own.

Apparently

Our inner self says “I can relate”.Makes sense. One of the good guys.

Oh, there may be a bit of verbal slippage. A curse word or two

from the rostrum-pulpit. A smooth double entendre.

Nothing out of bounds.. well, perhaps still in bounds.

We can relate.

The audience laughs, after all, the speaker is one of us.

References to tragic, life altering personal situations sneak

into the dialogue. Intended to relate to us common folk.

It’s ok.

We are still awed by the glibness. We’re proud to be in the

audience. One of those chosen.

Just part of an ongoing drama.

The speaker is trying to relate – to be one of us-really? Is that his preferred

tactic and strategy.

After many weeks, there is a sense of community. We have bought in. We agree

with the leader’s philosophy. He/she is taking us to the promised land—be it

political, religious, product driven.

Eventually a dim red line apparently is crossed. Enamored, we barely notice.

Be it a sexual reference. A religious reference

which doesn’t fit our paradigm. Perhaps a request for a

donation. A personal favor –a little too personal like acting as

a chauffeur for a drive to Chicago. Maybe a hug – too tight, too long. A sloppy,

wet kiss.

A wink at our teenage son. He clasps our wife’s hand. a little too tightly,

too friendly.. she winces, he smiles.

Vacations and more vacations with youth groups. Camping trips

are scheduled –and their purpose?

We want to deny, dismiss. “ Surely I am misreading”.

He/she has always been such a good person.

When? Where? Do we protest? Do we protect the values of

our families, our church, our country.

Listen closely. Every speech. Every conversation.

Words matter. People are transparent. Despite their cleverness.

Apologies are insufficient.

Uncomfortable with what you

hear? Consider this: your mind is the single most accurate receptor of

information.

Do you walk away? Are there actions to be taken?

Deciding between acts of commission and omission? What

road will you take?

.

LEADERSHIP IN ACTION

Yesterday was the day of exit for the church’s musical director.
A composer, master of many instruments,
Most of all a motivator of choirs and congregations.
Speeches of thanks by the priest, choir members, and the director:
Three standing ovations as the time to say adieu came closer:
The 1st ovation had an aura of victory . Like celebrating a winning touchdown.
The 2nd was more appreciative – hands clapping and body language of thanks.
The 3rd was unabashed sadness: Tears of farewell: bodies shaking with sad emotion.
Husbands, wives, children, holding each other as the moment of separation arrived.
Five hundred people overcome with loss – heads bowed: eye contact avoided:
big guys turned into jello.
What is the chemistry? The magic? The charisma that this stranger of 5 years ago
brought to this audience? Changed a moribund gathering into a group of bawling
children. There is no military command structure: or organization dictums which demand obligation to sing and participate
An aura created over time by the dynamism of his personality.

Knowledgeable, without a doubt Passionate about his faith

Energetic , obviously

Engaging , yes

Developer of mutual trust

Carrying the audience in his hands over and over again

Mesmerizing .
A prime example of “leadership” – taking people to places where they did not want to go: and didn’t think they had the talent or ability to take risks associated with musical cliffs.
Jeff believes in himself, his faith, AND the people to whom he is ministering. Most of whom he never met.. but all who feel they know him – and follow him: timidly then eventually without question.

In summary – a construct of mutual trust.
We know and treasure this rare combination when we have the privilege to experience this amazing
chemistry of superb leadership.

A case study in Leadership 101

BELIEVABLE LEADERSHIP – WHAT CAN MONEY BUY?

“ Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”. Sound familiar? What do the diamonds buy? – a sense of – he cares for me? Admiration from others.? Eye candy? Perhaps they are a renewal of the loving mutual admiration society. Or a visible reminder of one person caring for another. This rock from the center of the earth has always signified wealth, affection, and loyalty. There may be a difference between signifying something and it actually being true.
A question – do diamonds, jewelry, and other “ valued things” act as unbreakable adhesives when the affection and loyalty attributes are violated or dissipate over a period of time? The glitz and glamour of diamonds, by themselves, rarely is the glue that holds a broken relationship intact.
Employers are sometimes confused by the currents of “ we want more money’? ( show me the diamonds). When asked to perform expanded duties, the refrain “ how much more are you going to pay me?” is heard from dissatisfied , skeptical, restless employees..
Assuming these employees are paid comparable to others ( same occupation, region, etc) why the hue and cry about money?
• Loyalty?
• Honesty?
• Leadership?
• Followership?
• Integrity?
• Trust?
• Innovation?
• Motivation?
• Empowerment
Will money buy these? Perhaps money buys retention and the ability to hold on to highly skilled employees before they bolt to the competition. A bidding war ensues. With money being equal – who will the employee choose? And why?
Well heeled employers who fairly pay employees, have a high rate of “ money driven malcontents” when there significant dysfunctional characteristics are present in the workplace.
Havighurst discussed the absence of… as a factor in human behavior. The absence of employee loyalty, honesty, commitment to quality, employee empowerment, esprit de corps. Money cannot buy these factors which are essential to employee satisfaction. Dysfunction is a generalized company climate. Created, promoted and sustained by inept management and leadership.
Employees generally want to enjoy their work: take pride in where they work and the functions they perform. The erosion of these positive characteristics can be avoided by “ believable leadership”. Leaders who command trust: care about their employees, and who act in concert with the belief systems they talk about. Transparency, honesty, and value driven are the 3 key words by which they live. These characteristics are priceless.
Personal relationships and businesses have transparency, honesty and values are their cores. While “money” may be a center of heated discussions , a question to be asked – How did we get here? What are we as a marital team willing to do to change the atmospherics?

What can diamonds buy?

EGYPT – WHAT IS THIS REVOLUTION TELLING US?

This is the land of Moses, and a refuge for the baby Jesus:
The mathematical genius that are the pyramids
Luxor, Alexandria, the tombs of the Pharoah
What we call “ Ancient Civilizations”.
Forgotten? The people who we know as Egyptians:
Egypt – the land of freedom in Arabic
Nestled in the hot, dusty, difficult terrain of the Sahara

An educated people; passive – some would even say docile:
Polite to a fault: accepting of their fate:
Many highly educated: many unemployed
Living a bare subsistence of existence.

A complex nation of 80 million people
Shia and Sunni Muslim, Christians, others
Held together by history and geography
Torn apart by dictators and thieves

Standing on the banks of the Nile, watching the sun rise,
Listening to the call to prayer coming from a local mosques
( a sound that one never forgets – somehow inspiring)
It is easy to romanticize the time of the ancients
With Cleopatra, the Pharaohs, glimmering caskets
Regal palaces and international trade intrigue

Somehow, someway, the “common man” gets lost in this narrative
News media regale us with the observations that Mubarak is
Not listening to the people –such a simplistic view
It’s about dignity, independence, trust, and economic freedom
Thus the revolution of 2011.

Such a timeless lesson of history and human fate.
All civilizations eventually crumble and fail
Products of internal decay, excess, and weakness.

Let us consider that decay destroys from the inside out
From the epicenter to the observable skin and structural damage.
So it is with all societies. Destruction begins with the end of the nuclear family
Egypt is ending due to a lack of trust in the head of their family – their President

In the United States, we are faced with the erosion of the basic family unit.
With a high percentage of children born – fatherless : what does that create?
Another generation of trustless populace: Uncommitted, uncaring:

We are in charge of our individual and collective destiny
The question – do we have the heart, will and desire to make a difference?
The answer my friends is blowing in the wind.

The Egypt we romanticized

Being a Boss and A Friend –Can They Coexist

As an employee- do you want to be a friend of your boss? Lots written about boss – employee but not employee-boss.
The balancing act between corporate loyalty, dedication to corporate performance, accommodating the directions and sometimes negative feedback from a superior, and being a friend can be challenging.
One of the “admired attributes” of today’s employees is the honesty and willingness of many to engage in constructive collaboration with their managers. The open door freedom to openly discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly is an essential ingredient in an organization’s continuing improvement process. When the discussion involve issues sensitive to the boss including their management style and decisions, neutrality and the ability of all involved to be totally open and honest is essential.
Freedom from fear of retribution or loss of boss-employee friendship are inherently needed. Will employees who are friends of the boss therefore take the risk and be totally frank and honest? OR will the friendship preclude them from being objective?
There is a middle ground. A position which can foster positive relationships, while providing a wide scope of freedom for the employee and the boss. It’s the “friendlier” alternative. A relationship where there is mutual respect: collegiality, trust. Absent are the “subtle” expectations ..
• Agree with me and protect my back at all costs ( Boss)
• Give me extra consideration for the prime projects (Employee)
• You know I am loyal so remember that at performance eval time (Employee)
• Working extra hours compared to your peers is part of the deal ( Boss)
• Cut me a break – don’t be overly demanding or harsh ( Employee)
• You are expected to go for cocktails (Boss)
• I need extra time off – you know- even if others don’t get the same consideration ( Employee)
Want more information? Contact Bob Handwerk, ph 262-903-1602: Email info@rlhassociates.com: http://www.rlhassociates.com

A Professional Relationship

TRUST AND TEAM LEADERSHIP

A well accepted principle of effective leadership is that of trust. Without unconditional trust the relationship between team members and management is held together by only the very thin filament of organizational control “ Me boss – You Employee”.
The term “servant leadership” is much in vogue. For many leaders there is a religious attachment to the phrase. With good reason.
There is a significant connection between trust , servant leadership, and the success of a team.
By definition, one of the purposes of a “team”, is the collaborative sharing of ideas, knowledge, and resources in order to enact best practices solutions. Team members are perceived as equals with the senior management person there providing a listening ear and acting as a informative shepherd.
When the chemistry of “trust” is present a very interesting group->leader interaction takes place. There may be expectations for the senior person to carry out certain actions. The group may have decided, for example, on a reconfiguration of a work cell. This involves the need for a discussion by the manager with a long term employee and a reassignment of them. This will be a very difficult meeting. At the time of commitment with the group, there is every expectation that the manager will move forward.
Follow through is essential. Trust is in the balance. Future behavior modeling by team members will only occur if the leader carries out what he/she has promised. The team leader has become the servant of the team. This means no waffling, or procrastination, or significantly modifying the agreed upon action. Returning to the team and saying “ I had second thoughts” usually is a trust breaker.
Obviously if there is VERY VERY significantly new information or a change in circumstances that prevents the action from taking place then all bets are off. However, this should be a rare exception.
With the example of a “proof is in the pudding” in hand, teams take on a new mantle. Members begin to trust each other more and more. They also now have more trust in the leader.
The result – Discussions are more open and candid. Problem solving is attacked with greater vigor and turf wars recede into the background. Any fear of retribution by team members when areas of disagreement are laid on the table is muted and dissolves over time.
In addition, the esprit de corps of the team grows into commitment and loyalty to the team and the organization. As with other human experiences such as happiness, these positive characteristics are passed along to fellow employees, customers and vendors

Trust - An integral part of team success

Trust – The Difference Maker in Employer – Employee Motivation

Pundits wax eloquently about tangible and intangible motivators. From the hefty bonuses granted to wall street brokers, to the turkeys provided the rank and file at holiday time, analysts attempt to quantify the return on employers’ investments.
The authors of these white papers use a variety of spurious metrics in attempting to quantify positive gains in productivity, attendance and morale. Additionally they point to reductions in errors, scrap, and employee turnover.
Sales people who specialize in service awards and productivity trinkets lead CEO’s to believe their wares are the nirvana in motivational tools.
When receiving an award, the employee puffs out their chest, smiles broadly and feels momentarily proud. Monetary bonuses garner employee loyalty and dedication in the short term. The reciprocal benefit for the employer is fleeting. At the occurrence of the next stressful event such as an argument with their manager, the employee’s value proposition of the award diminishes rapidly.
The foundation of ALL employee motivation is trust. Not quantifiable, touchable, or testable, the complex spirits of trust permeate every aspect of employee transactions. A complex, enduring combination of respect, belief, honesty, commitment, faith, mutual reliance, confidence, trust is all encompassing.
Yes, I am talking about spirits, as in plural. An Ethernet type of gas, trust swirls in and around individuals and groups as they interact. There is an ebb and flow .. with permanence the goal of motivating leaders.
Trust is difficult to attain, or indeed obtain. When lost, the glue which helped cement a relationship together may be lost forever. Like a house on the beach succumbing to the slow yet relentless tide, trust can wash out to sea. Regaining trust is possible. A slow, arduous journey but well worth the risk.
When cultivated and fertilized, trust adds immeasurable value to a business relationship. With time, trust is the catalyst which keeps people together and makes life worth living. In a corporate environment, trust enables leaders to lead. Imbued with trust, employees will become fully engaged and committed to the company’s goals. An example of this is the commitment of employees in times of a crises such as the Manhattan project… endless hours spurred on by the trust scientists had in their leadership.
The development and maintenance of esprit de corps are not possible without trust. The payment of bonuses and gold watches are of little consequence. People will not commit themselves to risk their personal psychological bank account for a cause or a leader in whom they do not believe. Make no mistake, trust comes from the inners of our souls.
On the other hand, trust is possible in a atmosphere of honesty, consistency, and faith in each other.
Trust is a human not material value. You know it when you feel it.
Contact Bob Handwerk at info@rlhassociates.com for more coaching information

Without trust love is not possible? Or without love there is no trust?

Without trust love is not possible? Or without love there is no trust?

According to Wikipedia, from a psychology standpoint, “ trust is believing the person whom you
trust to do what you expect.
Such a simple sounding word – trust: only 5 letters. One syllable.
So difficult to build, so easy to destroy.
Trust levels are injected into our psyche systems with the 1st two years of our lives.

Wow! What does that say about packing days old babies into parkas on a cold , snowy Wisconsin
morning, slinging them into the car: then dashing through the cold, into a sociological melee
we euphamistically call “ Daycare”? Hmm- wonder what Is going through their little minds as regards
trust?
Oh wait – there is more: the end of the 8 hour survival camp arrives with mom taking the child to
McDonalds for a nutritious meal while she shares “quality time” with her fiancee otherwise known as
her shacking up boy friend. Count the elements of trust in that paternalistic paradigm!

Sorry, I got side tracked.

A long time business associate recently did an end run and undercut me.. All those years of trust,
bonding, etc teetered on the edge of the bridge, wavered, and collapsed into the cold Fox River.
The proffered excuse “ I didn’t think about it”.. just more salt into the wound. An apology – delivered,
well kind of.

Causes me to meditate on the elements of trust.
I had a boss in Poland, Dr. Gail Schoppert. A brilliant educator, humorist, actor, and
a “ I’ve got your back” guy. He embodied trust in the sense that hewas always, meaning always,
be there to defend his staff, and students, against the slings and arrows of erroneous assaults.
Gail never talked about trust, or team work, or kumbaya relationships,.
His trust actions spoke volumes and mirrored his value systems. I wonder what the 1st two years of his
life were like at home? Day Care – I doubt it.

A parting query : So without trust love is not possible? Or without love there is no trust?

Trust - A learned gift