Wikipedia says “ trust is believing the person whom you trust to do what you expect”. Such a simple sounding word –trust- only 5 letters. One syllable.
Trust is a foundation for life which can be built in a lifetime and or destroyed in an instant.
Trust levels become part of our being from the moment of birth.
Some of God’s children are welcomed by their parents into this world. They are cherished, cuddled, and protected. Trust is seen by parents as more important than material goods, money, or status.
Other children unfortunately are neglected. Parent(s) see their own pleasure and/or career success as taking precedence over God’s gift . Children in some homes lie in their own waste: go hungry: and are ignored. This absence of care is the result of parents placing a quota of conditional love on their relationship with the child. There are requirements, benchmarks, attitudes all established by the parents as conditions for the child to be loved. How can a child trust someone who sets up rules and regulations for a parent to love them? Essentially the parent is saying – don’t interfere with my life. You are a nuisance.
Without trust there is no mutual love.. Trust is very complex. Being comfortable to take risks with another person is one example. . Whether it is sharing a very personal experience, engaging in a trust fall, or risking relationships by sharing secrets which could destroy us, we are saying “ I trust and love you” when we take risks. Our eyes meet. We know a sense of simpatico is present.
Similarly, we avoid sharing and being candid with others when our trust -o- meter’s gauge points to empty. The warning light on the dashboard is blinking. A feeling of unease permeates these situations. How will the other person react to what we are going to say? Or what will they do with the information we are sharing? Eye contact is avoided. Perhaps our stomach churns with palms sweating. Our reactions are circumspect, nervous, untrusting.
When the ill winds of lack of trust blows in our face, we have an opportunity to change a relationship. By enabling God to talk WITH us about our need to be honest, compassionate and a committed listener, we can take the 1st steps to gently, and candidly construct a communications bridge. Have you crossed the Tappen Zee bridge?
The inclination to walk away, shut the door on others, or engage in “fight or flight” can be self destructive. Nothing is gained. Additionally, our compatriot probably also knows we aren’t a trusting person. Knowing that we paint him into a defensive corner, the conversations are superficial or of little value.
Who reaches out and extends the metaphorical hand of compromise? The person who initiates rapprochement is the stronger. Walking across the bridge is more difficult than sullenly sitting on the beach waiting for the tide to change. Will you be the negotiator or the pacifist?
Learning to recognize our internal capacity to trust and to love is a lifelong journey. A walk which is filled with colorful sunsets.. Thunderclouds and the fog of misunderstandings may envelop and confuse us as well. A significant part of this challenging adventure is about taking the risk to open our outstretched palms to trustingly invite others to find out who we really are.
Sharing how we truthfully feel about a person or situation can be a difficult climb up the mountainside. Journey’s accompanied by a friend are safer than being alone on the ice covered south wall of a cragged mountain. Handing each other ropes, pick axes, words of encouragement help us get to the summit. Take the risk of letting the Lord lead you. Permit Him to take you by the hand as you look into the eyes of the person you want to trust. Silently pray for the capacity to trust and love. Remember – two are better than one. This methodology is effective with one caveat – you must Trust and Love the Lord.
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